(Warning: NSFW due to language.)

 

Bitch.  Cunt.  Pussy.  Sissy. Douchebag.  Twat.  Boob.  Slut.  Whore.  Skank.  Slag.  Tramp.  Prude.  Frigid.  Lesbo.  Diva.  Feminazi.

In just those few words, I could be insulted for being a jerk, weak, stupid, a person who likes to have a lot of sex, a person who doesn't like to have sex, a lesbian, dramatic, or a passionate feminist.  Five of those are insults based on feminine body parts.  The others are based on just being a woman.  At least five of those (pussy, sissy, douchebag, twat, boob) are also used to insult men.

Compare that to gendered insults based specifically on the masculine:

Dick.  Prick.  Bonehead.

The list is significantly shorter and based on just one male body part.  They are used in place of jerk and stupid.  There aren't really any insults for men who like to have sex; in fact, most cultures celebrate men who have many sexual partners at the very same time they are denigrating the women with whom the men are having all this sex.

In "The Harmless Sounding Phrase That is Terrible for All Women," Karen Rinaldi writes:

A few weeks ago, I was talking with a friend about another friend’s husband who had called his wife a “stupid bitch” in front of their daughters in a moment of anger. He later apologized to the family. He’d had a hard day at the office. He didn’t really mean what he’d said, and he’d humbled himself in front of his wife and kids. We knew that he was basically a good guy. Basically a good guy. 

And that’s the phrase that kept swirling in my head. It occurred to me that the common refrain, “He is basically a good guy,” confirms one of our most pervasive biases. A colleague who made a sexist remark in a meeting? Well, we think, he didn’t mean it. He’s basically a good guy. The young man who insulted his date in front of his friends? He didn’t think she would take it so personally. He’s really a good guy...

When has anyone ever heard, as a pardon for a woman’s bad behavior, “She is basically a good woman?” Never. Because as frequently as we hear, “He’s basically a good guy,” we also hear, “She’s such a bitch.” Women are not so readily forgiven for their transgressions, no matter how small. The woman who refuses to accept blame at work for something she didn’t do? The woman who disagreed with her date in front of his friends? The wife who got too drunk at the neighborhood party?

A woman in a position of power in the workplace is called "Bossy;" her male counterpart is  called a "Leader."

Wives and girlfriends"Nag" their partners about things that need to be done; husbands and boyfriends "Remind" their partners of the same things.

A woman who forgets a few things is called "blonde" or "ditzy" or "airhead;"  a man who forgets a few things has a "momentary memory lapse."

Calling out a man for misogyny is usually reserved for blatant acts of physical and/or emotional abuse or assault.  We're really quick to call a man who physically abuses his wife or girlfriend a wife beater.  But what about the man who jokingly calls his partner a bitch or slut?  What about the men who catcall the girl walking down the street minding her own  business?  What about the father who calls his son a sissy because he cries when he's upset?  Or what about the baseball coach who tells the boys on his team that they throw like girls?  How about the teacher that claims boys do better in math than girls?

Misogyny isn't just about being outspoken in your hatred of women.  It's in the little things like jokingly calling a woman a bitch or slut because she did something that offended you or had any sexual partners before you.  Like catcalling a girl as if she is public property because she's walking down a public street.  Like calling your son a sissy for crying or telling a boy he throws like a girl, as if women are inherently lesser than men and telling a boy he's acting like a girl is the ultimate insult.

Misogyny is all about men who believe that women are weaker than them, not as smart as them, not allowed as many privileges as them, more emotional than them, and generally just not as good as them.

Men > women.

Language is powerful.  I'm super tired of misogyny and I'm super tired of the language it creates.  I'm tired of being told women are weak and that I'm weak because I'm a woman.

#Resist #NeverthelessShePersisted

 

 

 

 

 

"A new commandment I give to you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another."  (John 13:34-35)

Please bear with me.  I have stuff to say, but it's not going to be flowing or terribly coherent.

I have a tattoo on my left wrist that says "love one another."  Originally, I was going to get all of verse 34 (above) on my wrist, but decided that those three words were enough and it would be a succinct reminder of the rest of those two verses.

I hope that those three words are written in my mind and on my heart so that I remember them in everything I say or do.  In reality, I know I still need to work on how I talk and act.  Having those three words written on my wrist is a visual reminder when my heart is too hurt or my mind too angry to stop me from doing or saying something stupid and unkind.

I'm not telling you this to convince you that I'm perfect and loving all the time.  Far from it.  But I don't understand hatred.  There are some people I strongly dislike in this world, but I deal with it by not thinking about them at all instead of stewing about how strongly I dislike them.  I don't understand utter loathing and stewing about it.  I try to remember that love isn't always a feeling; in fact, love is usually a way we act.  I use the definition of love from 1 Cor. 13:4-7 as my guide so that even if I'm not feeling loving towards someone, I can still act loving by being patient, kind, trusting, and hopeful (among other things).  The kindest thing we can do is forgive people who hurt us.  Failing that, the kindest thing we can do is to not think about certain people at all. It's better to not think about them than to stew in your hatred.

So I don't understand why people are so horrible to other people.  I don't understand how you can hate someone because of the way they look, the color of their skin, who they're attracted to, who they love, or who they worship or don't worship.  I don't understand wanting to harm someone because they're different from me.  I don't understand wishing a whole group of people would die because of the way they've chosen to live their lives (if those choices don't hurt anyone else).  There are some ways people choose to live their lives that I don't understand and would never do myself, but if what they're doing isn't hurting themselves or anyone else, then why is it any of my business?

So I don't understand why the individuals who have committed acts of terrorism in the United States over the last several years have done so.

I don't understand how someone can hate the members of a whole community because of one thing.  Because they're gay.  Because they're transgender.  Because they're African-American or Chinese or Indian or Latino or Jewish.  Because they're Muslim or atheist or pagan or another Christian denomination.  Because they wear turbans or burqas or all black or dresses.  Because they're women.

What kind of hatred must you have in your heart that the sight of two men kissing incites you to pick up a gun and kill people at a gay club?

This upsets me on two levels.  On a general level, I wonder how someone can have that much hatred for any individual and that much more hatred for a whole community.  On a more personal level it upsets me because I've lost a sibling to cancer  and my very best friend in the whole world, who is practically my sister, is a member of the LGBTQ community.

How many people lost siblings yesterday at The Pulse, and what if it had been this woman I love as a sister?

As a person who has lost a sibling and a person who loves someone in the LGBTQ community, this is just a nightmare.  And it didn't even happen to me.

Tonight there are people grieving because some guy hated homosexuals.  Tonight there are people, like my sister-friend, who are living in fear because other people, who also hate homosexuals, are calling the shootings yesterday "God's will."

And I don't understand because the God I worship loves everyone so much that He sent His only Son to earth.  And I don't understand because that Son, Jesus, told us to love God and love our neighbor.  And this Jesus told us to love one another.  And I don't understand how people can think that this same God hates certain people when the Bible says He loves everyone so fiercely.

I don't understand and my heart is broken for all the parents weeping for children they lost and all the siblings who are in shock because their brother or sister isn't ever coming home and for all the people living in fear because they're gay, transgender, African-American, Muslim, Jewish, a girl, or anything else that might make them the victim of bigotry and violence.

I asked my sister-friend yesterday what I could do to help her besides pray.  She said "Keep speaking up and standing out."

So this is me speaking out.  Condemning the hatred and violence in this world.  Encouraging others to remember that God wants us to love one another and not hate.

And it starts here, with me, and this little reminder I have on my left wrist that simply says, "love one another."

I've decided that there needs to be a place that is always Spring or Autumn.  More specifically, sunny, typically low humidity interspersed with a rainy day or two each week,  high of 72 and low of 45.  Lots of color: first, the tulips, lilac, and honeysuckle blooming, then the rose bushes, green trees for six months in the cooler, low humidity weather, and then beautiful red, orange and yellow leaves as it gets to that low of 45.

What I don't want is for is to be 82 on April 18.  That's ridiculous.

It's Spring.  I want Spring weather. I'm not ready for June to be here yet.  I want April!

The older I get, the less I tolerate Summer.  I used to love Summer.  It meant being out of school, hanging out at the pool, spending lazy days in front of the tv in an air conditioned living room with a fan blasting on me, and listening to the radio in the middle of the night because I could sleep in every morning.

Hanging out at a public pool as an adult isn't much fun.  They don't really allow you to drag one of the chairs into the shallow end of the pool so you can just lay there in the cold water.  I'm not much of a swimmer.  I just want to soak.

If I spend a lazy day in front of the tv now, I just feel guilty.

If I sleep in on a week day, I feel guilty.  So I don't stay up listening to the radio in the middle of the night.

And if that's not enough, it's just hot and humid for forever.  Yuck.

I tolerate winter better than summer.  I've learned just how much I have to bundle up at every temperature below 45 degrees.  And when it's really cold, snowy, and windy out, the crotchety old dog doesn't want to walk; she just does her business and turns around to go back inside.

But it's still cold, and the older I get, the less I tolerate the cold.  Oh, and just because it's cold doesn't mean there's no humidity.  I've had a perfectly good hair day ruined by humidity when it's only 37 out.

Come on, Illinois, I want Spring back.

IMG_2730

Just when I thought I'd seen it all, I came across boxed water in the grocery store.  And it says it's better.  I can only assume it means it's better than water in plastic bottles.

Does anyone else see a problem with this?  I hope so.

Here's what the other side of the box says:

How do these things make boxed water better?
How do these things make boxed water better?
  1. Only 75% of the box is made of paper (trees).  So what's the other 25% made of?  Probably plastic.  From the texture of the box, I could tell for sure that the outside has a plastic coating it, and the inside may too.  If the point of boxed water is to eliminate the need for plastic bottles, then coating the paper box with plastic defeats that purpose.
  2. The trees used to make the boxes are from certified, well-managed forests.  That sounds great.  However, there is still a lot of paper going to landfills each year, which defeats the purpose of well-managed forests.  And why use virgin resources (trees) when we have recycled paper that could be used to make these boxes?
  3. They ship their boxes flat to the filler.  Yes, it makes it more efficient because they can ship more boxes to the filler with fewer trips, and that reduces their use of fossil fuels in shipping (compared to shipping empty plastic or glass bottles).  However, those boxes will then be filled with water and shipped out from that company, which still uses fossil fuels during the shipping process.
  4. The boxes are recyclable where facilities exist.  I live in a town of 100,000 people, and we don't have the recycling facilities that allow us to recycle plastic-coated paper boxes.  If you live in a smaller town, or even a city that also won't allow recycling of these types of containers, your water boxes probably have to go into the landfill.  And then what's the point?

So really, boxed water is only marginally better than water in plastic bottles.  By marginally, I mean don't bother.  If you're won't buy bottled water, then avoid this too.

What's better than bottles water and boxed water?  Reusable water bottles.  In a few days, I'll post a review of several types of reusable water bottles which really are better for the environment (and you wallet).

2

So Saturday night, my USB thumb drive, which I've had for about six months, quit working.  My computer doesn't even register that the drive is plugged in.

It has all of my writing on it.

Yes, I have back-ups of some of it on my computer, but not all of it.  Including a story that's almost at 15,000 words.

It's my own fault.  I had it plugged in to my computer when I let the computer battery completely discharge a couple of times.  Apparently, that's a big no-no.

Sigh.

So today, I'll be venturing out to our local computer repair place to see if they can recover the files on there and get them saved to something else.

This is a very expensive mistake to make, people.  Don't be like me.

On a related note, what methods do y'all use to store your files?  Assuming you have more than one storage method, what are they?  I'm hesitant to store everything in the cloud, but I know that that might be the safest and most convenient place for storage.  What are the chances of your files getting wiped out in the cloud because of stupidity?

Suggestions are welcome.  Telling me what an idiot I am isn't.  I've been doing that for thirty-six hours, so that's covered.

If you live outside the US or you've been hiding under a rock, then you might not have known that last night was the State of the Union Address.  (side note: if you have been living under a rock and didn't know this, don't feel badly.  I didn't know the #SOTU was last night until yesterday morning when our son told us he had to watch some of it for homework.)

I don't want to talk about the whole address, because that would be excruciatingly boring for both of us.  However, I want to touch on one part of President Obama's speech.  One of his points regarding health care in the US was that we have made huge strides in moving towards eliminating several diseases, and he finally said, "Let's make America the country that cures cancer once and for all."

I'm all for that.  My world was turned upside down last April when my brother died after an eight month fight with colon cancer.  He was only 38.  Yesterday, a dear friend lost her aunt to a four year battle with cancer.  This morning, my cousin found out that a friend's five-year-old daughter has terminal brain cancer.  A year ago, I and a whole community of friends lost a dear woman to her second round of breast cancer.

I can't think of a single person I know who hasn't had a friend or family member lose a battle to cancer.  This is an ugly disease, and it leaves grieving, broken people in its wake.

Who wouldn't want America to be the country that cures cancer once and for all?

So back to the #SOTU address.  When President Obama announced that he wanted America to be the country that cures cancer, almost all of the Democrats stood up to applaud, but a very large section of the Congressional Republicans remained seated and didn't applaud (at least that I could tell).

Who doesn't applaud for something like this?  Who doesn't want to cheer and scream and shout and support this idea one thousand percent?  If you know anyone in your family or circle of friends who has battled cancer, especially if cancer killed that person, would you not make curing cancer your rallying cry?

Apparently a whole section of Congressional Republicans at the 2016 State of the Union Address, that's who.

To those people who didn't applaud and support the President's call for a cure for cancer: why?  Do you not want to see a cure for cancer?

Or are you not supporting it because a Democrat suggested we should make it happen?

Is partisan politics that important to you?

If so, you make me sad.